Testimony: Part Four

***before I begin part four I forgot to add in one small little life changing event that happened during part three. Before I met my wife, but while I lived in Calgary I vision was deteriorating drastically and I kept almost passing out until one day I went almost completely blind while I was driving down Deerfoot Trail in Calgary. I got home and told my younger brother to drive me to a clinic. After the many tests I was waiting in one of the rooms when the doctor walked in and asked me, "Does Cancer run in your family?", to which I said "yes". She just stared at me with a concerned look on her face for what seemed like forever. Finally she tells me that the tests show a very high blood/glucose level and that I had Type I diabetes. 19 years old and my life was about to change drastically***

Now onwards...

I couldn't believe my ears when I heard the message on the machine. I played it over and over to see if maybe I missed something and he was actually ok, but never did hear it. I colapsed and cried, I wasn't sure what to do. I had lost people I knew to drinking and driving and other related acts before, but never someone so close to me. I cried. I found myself crying to God, which at that time was still almost foreign to me, but I didn't know what else to do. Dawn raced over to comfort me and I felt lost and scared. What if this happened to me tomorrow? Where would I go? This time around I had no anger left to throw at God; this time I only had questions. That night as I lay awake I asked God what he was doing...not in an angry way, but in a sincerely curious way. There had to be a reason for things like this to happen. When I went to funeral I saw something there that blew me away. The line up to get in was almost a city block long and most of us had to watch it on a tv in different room as there was not nearly enough room. It brought everyone together. I didn't shed a single tear at the service; not because I didn't miss him, but because I felt someone with their hand on my shoulder whispering in my ear that everything was ok. When I think about it now, I realize why I didn't cry, at the time I wasn't sure as it was so foreign to me, that feeling of being loved so deeply. God was there with me; he kept me strong, he keeps me strong. Shortly after this, my parent's were attending a new church and invited us out to see it. By now I had sort of decided that I believed in God, but still had my lingering doubts. I had been having some very painful problems with my left wrist because of a break I had suffered while skateboarding. It would lock my hand up and cause me so much pain that I would break out in a sweat. That night at church it was acting up alot and someone I had never met tapped me on the shoulder and said he wanted to pray for me. My dad joined him as they prayed over my wrist and almost instantly the pain left me and my hand and wrist were back to normal. Not only did the pain leave, but I felt an amazing sense of peace that I had never felt before; something that I could never explain in words and I was literally floored. It was like God came and said "Look what I can do!" and grabbed me in his arms and showed me a tiny spec of His power and love. I had my answer, how could I deny it now? About a year before this happened my parents had been at a conference in Portland, Oregon where they were told that they're Prodigal Son would return home in a year and on that night I came running home! I truely believe that God never left my side for even a second during my life; even when I said I hated Him; even when I said he didn't exist. I believe that he is still here next to me with every step I take and picks me up everytime I fall. It always seems that even when things look bleak and we don't know if we'll pay the bills, somehow the money is there. I am married now with a beautiful daughter and another baby on the way in May. God is blessing me more everyday, even if I don't deserve it or even notice it. If you think back on each day, normally you will find his blessings there, even if it is that you are breathing...
Is it done? No it's not! Shortly after this we both felt a deep calling to move to Winnipeg. Dawn had grown up in Calgary and I had vowed never to move back to Winnipeg, but it's funny how God doesn't seem to follow your plans. We put it off and put it off until finally it was too strong and we announced we would be moving in a few months. We thought that the urge would settle a bit when we made the decision, but it only got stronger. Finally one night I asked God to make it clear as to when we were to move. I said if you want us to move right away, let something detrimental happen at my job (i.e. layoff, demotion, etc). Well, the next day at work I was told that I would be relieved of my possition and either layed off or demoted. Sometimes the answer is just that clear I guess. So off we went, a pregnant wife and a clueless soon to be Dad, on to the next adventure of our lives. We weren't sure why we were going and we still aren't completely sure why, but we know this is where we are supposed to be and this is where we will stay. We had our daughter here and we will have what we have been told is a son here and hopefully one day in the distant future we will have a house here. God paved our way and I pray every day that he keeps paving and that we keep following...